Four Keys For a Successful Relationship
By Steve Steiner
There’s no limit to how successful your relationship can become as long as you keep in mind one essential point - you can’t do it alone. Without a serious and sincere commitment from each partner, relationships cannot grow and become successful. Relationships can’t grow with the effort of only one partner - when that’s the case, count on seeing the relationship dissolve shortly. Don’t forget - it takes two to tango! Even though there are going to be issues in any relationship, the strength of its foundation will help determine if it can withstand them. Here are some tested techniques for establishing such a strong foundation.
Don’t lie
The first essential foundation of any relationship is honesty. People in a relationship share their innermost thoughts and feelings with each other, but how can you do that if your partner lies and cannot be trusted? The things you tell her make up a tapestry that symbolizes not only your life, but your relationship together. Each lie is like a huge hole - meaning that the relationship is weak and incomplete. A relationship’s future is based on the quality of the foundation that’s built for it. If the foundation is made up of lies, then there’s little hope for any future because the relationship will collapse the first time it’s put to the test.
Relationships thrive on integrity
Someone who lies lacks integrity, but it goes deeper - integrity has to do with matching your words to your deeds as well. Thus, you show that you’ve got a problem with integrity when you break promises or don’t live up to other commitments. Your integrity is reflected in your actions every day, and how those actions match your words. Don’t think that just attending to the major commitments you make will convince people you’ve got integrity. If you display poor integrity in minor issues, sooner or later you’re going to jeopardize the relationship because she’s going to wonder if you can be trusted with something as important as her heart. The faith that’s so important to a relationship doesn’t just spring up - it’s nurtured by your constant attention to keeping your commitments large and small. As you keep on doing this as time goes on, she will trust you more and more and the two of you will grow ever closer.
Attend to her feelings
Part of the “work” of making a relationship thrive is paying attention to your partner even when you’d rather be doing something else. When she’s talking to you, it’s because she wants you to know something. How will you learn it if you stare at her and nod your head without actually processing what she’s saying, and thinking about it? She may be upset about what she’s telling you, but don’t get excited - remain collected, but if it’s appropriate, comfort her.
Cool, calm and collected is always the best way to be
If your objective is to win on those (hopefully rare) occasions when you fight, rather than to settle the differences you’re experiencing, you’re going to damage your relationship. What’s more important - winning the argument or strengthening your relationship? Proving you’re better, or understanding her point of view and why she’s upset? If you concentrate on solving the problem instead of victory at all costs, the relationship will strengthen and grow.
One last thing: it may seem trite, but tell her you love her. Tell her often, and while you’re at it, tell her how beautiful she is - especially after she’s spent a lot of time making herself look just right to go out somewhere with you. Make sure she always knows that she’s loved and she’ll never want to risk that love by walking out!
Steve Steiner enjoys helping men improve their relationship and manage the problems that they may experience in relating with and dating women.
If you found this article helpful and would like to learn more ways to improve your relationship, check out Make Relationship Work and Stop a Breakup.
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Setting Boundaries in Relationships
By Judy H. Wright
Setting personal boundaries are like identifying the gates in our invisible fence lines which protects the precious heart and soul inside our bodies. Many people look at boundaries as walls, but rather when we establish healthy boundaries it provides a way to distinguish what we choose to let in and let out. They form flexible gates, not stationary walls It is important to learn about setting healthy boundaries so we can make decisions about what is and what isn’t permissible in all relationships.
Boundaries are valuable
All relationships work more harmoniously when the participants know what to expect and what is expected of them. Being kind, but firm when stating what you need from a relationship allows the other person to reciprocate. How other people act and think often has nothing to do with you, but rather with their own perceptions. You can only take care of yourself.
It doesn’t matter how elaborate the fencing and eloquent our statements are, if we don’t honor ourselves enough to draw the line and stick to it consistently. It is just as valuable to the other person that they learn how to be with you and what the guidelines are for the relationship.
Body Language and tone of voice
Verbal communication is the language of information and only 20 % is absorbed. Body language and tone of voice is the language of relationships and 80% is remembered. Make sure you appear confident and you speak with a neutral, calm and non-accusing tone when establishing your boundaries. Use “I” statements which reflect on how things affect you, rather than “you” statements which put people on the defensive.
4 Step model for setting boundaries
1. Calmly inform the other person by stating, “I feel uncomfortable and want to shut down when you yell at me.”
2. Request that they honor your boundary. “I ask that you talk to me without yelling.” Or ..For me to listen and hear what you are saying to me, I need to you speak to me in a calm voice without yelling.
3. Insist that they honor your boundary, again with a firm but kind voice, “I insist that when we are talking we talk in calm voices.”
4. Leave the situation. Now is not the time or place to continue communicating with someone who refuses to respect your boundaries. Leave the door open to talk later in a more respectful manner. Continue to maintain a calm but firm voice and say, “I will not continue this conversation in this way. I welcome an opportunity to talk with you without yelling or screaming at another time. Let me know if you decide to visit without raised voices.”
Don’t take it personally
You can not assume responsibility for other people’s feelings, agendas or methods of communication. You can only state how you desire to be treated in life. If there are old patterns, it may take some time to convince others that you are serious about sticking to your boundaries. Everyone has the right to be treated with respect and courtesy.
People you know may be surprised at first when you tell them they have crossed the line, but will respect you more in the end. Hopefully, they will model this communication style and it will make for more honest and open relationships for all.
© Judy H. Wright, Parent educator and Author
www.ArtichokePress.com
Judy H. Wright is an author of many parenting and family relation books and articles. Ezines, blogs and monthly specials as well as books, workshops, CD’s are available at her website: http://www.ArtichokePress.com To schedule a training session, write JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com or call 406-549-9813.
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The Importance of Confidence in Relationships
By Elaine Sihera
In any relationship, no two people’s confidence will ever match to perfection. But successful couples tend to share part of a confidence continuum, usually the positive end, which increases the level of tolerance in each individual, thus prolonging the union. Where confidence is highly mismatched, which affects a high proportion of relationships, one partner is likely to grow in esteem as he/she settles into the union and achieves his/her own goals, while the other will noticeably lag behind, more than likely feeling insecure and inadequate.
In such cases it is difficult to be mutually supportive because the confident party would be keen to get on while the other would be more cautious, fearful or even resentful. As expectations won’t be met, frustrations soon become apparent, strangling enthusiasm and effort, while competition or apathy sets in. The seeds for a breakdown would already be in place. In fact, one could almost predict the development of a relationship from the individual scores of a good confidence quiz administered during courtship!
Difficult to Please
People with low esteem are also very self-conscious in appearance, being difficult to please and to reach, because of their defensive barriers. They tend to be overtly superficial, mean with appreciation and often inspire little faith in, or respect from, others. You will rarely hear the words ‘I love you’, ‘I admire you’, ‘You look great’, ‘Wonderful to have you in my life’, or ‘You’re so clever’ from low-confidence partners because they want such praise too and, not getting it from anywhere, they cannot reciprocate. Instead, they adopt a superior attitude and partners are likely to be treated as though they should be grateful for any affection or attention they receive.
However, being low in self-worth, and also with an insatiable need for reinforcement to boost their own egos, those of poor esteem are always expecting others to affirm them, to love them and to value what they do continuously. They tend to believe their more positive partners are never doing enough to appreciate them - a situation which is likely to become wearisome for that partner because of the one-way nature of the relationship. We have to love ourselves first before we can understand that love and then pass it back to others.
Low-confidence people also find it hard to solve personal difficulties. Being too ready to blame others for their own misfortune, they expect scapegoats to provide the answers, often refusing to believe that any solution lies within themselves. Blaming others becomes a handy crutch for doing nothing. Sadly, it also maintains their low self-acceptance and reduces their personal value and appeal.
Dragged Down by Negativity
The trouble with having extremes of confidence competing in a relationship is that, sooner or later, the positive person will be dragged down by the negativity of the other, be severely limited by her, be demoralised by his inevitable criticism and carping or, alternatively, be suffocated by her fawning, whingeing or marked lack of respect for personal space. Males with low self-esteem tend to be controllers in relationships, always keen to control their environment excessively, like wardens in a prison, and to point out blunders and errors. They tend to feel insecure if they are not in charge. Such men often seem quiet, retiring and competent to others, but are likely to behave like bullies at home, especially towards their family - the captive audience.
Characterised by weakness and dependency, females with low esteem tend to behave like doormats, always trying to please, even at their own expense. They are usually the last to appreciate their negative circumstances which many others can easily see. Often they take their treatment without a whimper, no matter how degrading, violent and brutal, in return for the continuing attention, approval and self-reinforcement they crave. In time, for both men and women, they lose their self-respect entirely, their friends gradually disappear and they become dependent upon their job as workaholics, upon friends or relatives, or upon each other, especially for self-reinforcement and validation. Such relationships are likely to exclude others, becoming increasingly limiting, claustrophobic and destructive in the end.
Is your relationship/marriage holding you back? Try our RELATIONSHIP QUIZ to test how you feel about your partnership. A bad relationship robs you of a life because it has a domino effect on everything else. Find out the state of yours now.
ELAINE SIHERA is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a Personal Empowerment and Relationships Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). She describes herself as, “Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!”
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Symbiotic Relationships
By Kent Pinkerton
Relationships are inevitable for any living being whether it is an animal, a plant, a microscopic organism or a human being. Symbiotic relationships are relationships where two organisms of different species live and work together, each one of them benefiting from mutual cooperation. This term is generally used in biology for explaining the relationship between two entities that need each other to survive and prosper.
A common example for symbiotic relationships is that both the human as well as the animal kingdom is dependent on the oxygen produced by the plant kingdom. Conversely, plants depend on animals and humans for carbon dioxide to prepare their food. Another example of this relationship is that of the bee and the flower. Bees get nectar from flowers. Pollination also takes place when the bee flies from one flower to another. Some of the common symbiotic relationships include humans and cultivated plants, humans and domesticated animals, as well as small mammals and hypogenous fungi.
There are different kinds of symbiotic relationships. They vary according to the behavior and characteristics of the species. Each type of symbiotic relationship is given a separate name by ecologists. A relationship in which both the species benefit is called mutualism, usually referred to as a symbiotic relationship. The process in which only one species benefits whereas the other is unaffected is termed commensalism. Parasitism is a relationship in which one species benefits and the other is harmed. When neither of the species benefits, it is competition. The last category is neutralism, where both species remain unaffected.
Among the humans also you can see symbiotic relationships. Let us take the case of a venture capitalist and an entrepreneur. The capitalist needs investment opportunities provided by the entrepreneur. In the same way, entrepreneurs require investment capital, which in turn is offered by venture capitalists. In this way both parties benefit equally. Thus symbiotic relationships can be observed in any ecosystem, in one form or another.
Relationships provides detailed information on Relationships, Online Relationships, Relationship Advice, Relationship Quiz and more. Relationships is affiliated with Interracial Couples.
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Healthy Relationship Secrets - The Difference Between Self-Ware and Self-Conscious
By Seth Czerepak
Healthy relationships begin with self-awareness, but self-consciousness can destroy your ability to interact confidently with others. Okay, Yoda…what the heck is the difference between the two? Actually, there’s a HUGE difference, and once you have a clear understanding of this difference, you’ll be able to snap right out of self-consciousness and build genuine confidence through self-awareness. Keep reading…
The Two Faces of Pride
Pride is a cancer to healthy relationships. It takes all of the focus off of building the relationship and puts it on one person. When this happens, the relationship becomes one sided and the other person starts putting their walls up to protect themselves from being taken for granted or being hurt. Pride and self-consciousness are directly related, in fact you could even consider them the same concept called by a different name. So what causes pride and how do you overcome it?
Pride is caused by being absorbed in oneself, and that doesn’t always mean absorbed in how great you are. Self-absorbed people are more often absorbed in their own shortcomings than they are in their strengths. This is the person who is afraid to interact genuinely with others because of what those others might think. This is the person who is always putting themselves down, and who (to some) might be considered to be shy or timid.
However, shyness and timidity both come from being absorbed in one’s own imperfections. Such people are always thinking of themselves and how horrible they are, and this can be just as bad (if not worse) than the puffed up “I’m better than everyone else” pride. As long as a person is proud and self-absorbed, they will never be able to build genuine confidence…at best, they can fake it, but they’ll always have the inner fear of being “found out.”
So, how can you escape this and build confidence based on self-awareness?
The Root of Genuine Confidence
Self-awareness is knowing who you are without being absorbed in who you are. People who are self-aware seek to understand themselves better, but not for the sake of validating themselves to others or invalidating themselves to others for fear that others will feel unimportant. In other words, people who are self-aware seek understanding for the sake of consistently growing and improving themselves, not for the reward of social validation.
This requires the acceptance of both your strengths AND your “weaknesses” and accepting them both as a part of who you are. This is how a person becomes integrated and mature, and this is the foundation of finding and keeping healthy relationships.
Click here to download your FREE healthy relationships mini-course. Discover the secrets to understanding people’s motives, building trust, establishing boundaries and keeping commitments for healthy relationships.
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Rank - How Power and Privilege Affect Our Relationships
By Tim Spalding
Have you ever wondered why you sometimes feel inferior to or put down by a someone, and then notice that another time they are reacting to you as though you were superior to them or putting them down? Rank differences are the key contributor to conflicts and their escalation. Having rank awareness gives you an insight into what is happening in a conflict.
Arnold Mindell developed the concept of rank to bring awareness to the process where people feel more or less powerful in any given situation at any particular moment. Rank differences and the misuse or abuse of rank is behind all social situations and contributes to all conflicts. Having awareness of your own rank helps you to understand why you may feel less powerful or abused by someone with higher rank. Having awareness of your higher rank can lessen the likelihood of your using it in a way that is experienced as hurtful or abusive by someone of lower rank. High rank can be used in a positive way if a person is conscious of their high rank and can occupy it congruently.
Rank is described as the sum total of a person’s power and privileges at any given moment. You earn some of your power and privilege over your life, by facing life’s challenges and overcoming them. Some rank is unearned; you acquire it by birth or social position. Rank is not constant and can change from moment to moment in a particular situation.
A person who has lower rank will notice rank and experience it more acutely than a person with higher rank. People with higher rank can be unaware or unconscious of their rank. If you are unaware of your rank, it is more likely to be experienced as abusive by someone else. Rank is neither good nor bad - it just is. Becoming more aware of your rank reduces your likelihood of abusing it.
Rank is demonstrated through signals such as posture, tone of voice, volume of speech, clothing, language and gestures. You cannot hide your rank, it will come out in double-signals; you may be saying one thing but your body language will be telling a different story.
Rank can be divided into different types:
Social Rank is generally unearned, and its relative powers and privileges are supported by social norms. They cover areas such as gender, class, ethnicity, colour, wealth, nationality and education.
Local or Situated Rank arises in a particular situation and is specific to an individual’s position in that situation. Someone’s high social rank may not apply in a particular social situation such as the workplace.
Psychological/Spiritual Rank is the power that you gain from life experiences, particularly overcoming and surviving difficult and challenging situations; or it may come from a feeling of connection to a higher power or to nature/the environment, etc.
Within an organisation or workplace, local rank issues are going to be to the fore. Organisations have hierarchies, and people with more authority will have higher rank. Differences in pay, authority, responsibility will all come into play. Who has the biggest office, where someone’s desk is situated, what resources they have access to will also affect a persons feeling of power, security and wellbeing. Cultural norms within the organisation will also come into play. Particular forms of behaviour or ways of thinking will be valued differently; some more highly; some will be disapproved of.
Rank affects the way that people interact with each other. It affects the level of trust people have of each other and it affects how safe they feel with each other. It affects the way that they can and will have conflict with each other.
Don’t get judgemental about your rank or the rank of others; there is nothing you can actually do about your rank. You can, however, do something about how youuse your rank. If you are in a high rank situation, use it positively. Be aware of it and the advantages it gives you and use these advantages in a positive way.
By becoming more aware of your rank and the rank of others can shed a lot of light on the relationship dynamic and behaviour in an organisation, workplace or team. You can start by taking stock of your own rank and then looking at how that may be affecting your behaviour and reactions to others. If this is done by others in your organisation or team, and shared and talked about it can radically change the way you interact and behave.
Taking stock of your Rank
The purpose of this exercise is to become more aware of your own rank so that you can own it and use it more consciously. You can do the first part of this exercise on your own. If you want you can use it with your team or a group that you are part of.
Part 1
What rank do you identify with? Be specific about situations in which you have:
* Social rank
* Situational/Local rank
* Psychological/Spiritual rank
Write the answers down and think about how they make you feel or act. Make some notes
Part 2
Talk to someone else about doing this exercise. Start by celebrating your rank. Remember that rank just is and that by occupying it and using it consciously people with lower rank will be less affected in a negative way
* Feedback to the whole group and discuss
* How does rank affect relationships in this.
Tim Spalding is a coach and mediator with Knockalla Consulting, http://www.knockalla.net.
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The Importance of Caring in Relationships
By Penny Haider
There are times when it feels like no one cares–even those people who have committed to caring about us act at times as if they don’t.
How important is it that we sense that others we care about care about us?
Pretty darn important.
How long would you continue on in a relationship if the person you’re with didn’t show an inkling of caring toward you? Would it be hard to muster up the ability to care for them? How long could you pull off genuine caring behavior for another person who consistently ignored dismissed or was simply unaware of your needs?
Say you got caught in a downpour and your partner pulled out their umbrella but told you to get your own.
Wonder if you came home after working a 10 hour shift and your partner who had been at home relaxing all day asked you to fix dinner–would you rush to the kitchen and proceed to knock out a four course meal?
Maybe you’re on a walk with your partner and you come across a $10 bill. You pick it up and while holding it in your hand they grab it and say “hey, great, thanks!” Then proceed to stuff it in their pocket without batting an eye! Would this give you a stabbing feeling in your gut–or would you just shrug it off?
When someone close to you feels a certain level of comfort in your presence their true colors emerge and sometimes the picture isn’t too bright. How quickly vibrant hues become lifeless and dull and what’s amazing is the change you feel toward them happens in a matter of seconds. The question is what do you do?
When you stop to think about it, this person has given you a gift. You’ve just received a glimpse of what the future holds. If it’s a new relationship–wow, what a time saver. It’s wonderful! Is there any doubt what your next action will be?
But say you’ve already determined that this is someone you want to commit to or this is a long term partner or a spouse? Then what? Do you shove the hurt deep down inside as quickly as possible and work to erase any residual affects?
Well, denial works–for awhile. But the fact that you notice the slight, the insult, the total inappropriateness of an action means you’re aware and once you’re aware you know there is potential for more of the same. You’ve got to act!
You’ve got to say “what the heck are you doing?” Or, “no I won’t fix dinner I’m tired!” Or “excuse me, I found it, it’s mine!”
You call it like you see it. You’ve got to!
And, if you continue to see major red lights flashing you take another action–you leave. Ongoing acts of rudeness, cruelty, disrespect, inconsideration, or endangerment signal a conscious choice and if another person is consciously and consistently telling you through their words or actions that they don’t care, they don’t.
Penny L Haider Author of No Contact: Ending a Destructive Relationship.
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Lie Detector (Polygraph) Testing in Relationships
By R. Michael Martin
When trust is lost in a relationship, it could take years to recover, if ever. In many cases the evidence of adultery is not definitive and the only way to find out the truth is through polygraph (a type of lie detector) testing. Polygraph exams are used extensively worldwide to resolve relationship issues and are 90 to 95% accurate if done correctly. This is one of the areas of testing where experience makes a big difference, and it is the consumer´s responsibility to make sure they are getting the best exam possible.
The first step is to decide on the test issues. A polygraph exam can not contain “mixed” issues. For example, you can not include questions about theft, drugs and infidelity in the same exam. All the questions in a single exam must pertain to the same topic, so unless you are prepared to administer several exams, you should select your topic first. Keep in mind that a single polygraph exam can last up to 3 hours.
There are three general categories for relationship testing:
1. Infidelity or “cheating” questions are usually designed to determine whether one partner has engaged in sexual acts with someone besides his/her partner during a specified time period. This category may also include questions about dating, kissing, specific sexual acts, or acts with specific-named individuals.
2. No-contact activities are covered separately because not all “cheating” requires physical contact. For example, polygraph can be used to determine the extent of internet activities, such as visits to pornographic sites, dating sites, chat rooms, interactive sexual web sites, and cybersex, or placing person ads, visiting strip clubs, or communicating with “exes.”
3. Personal history questions delve into issues relating to activities prior to the current relationship. These personal history questions are appropriate when a partner needs to verify aspects of his/her partner´s background, such as sexual history, drug or alcohol habits, gambling, health issues (particularly STDs) and excessive financial obligations.
Once you have decided on the general test issue, the next step is to select a qualified examiner. Important decisions may be based on the results of the exam, so this hiring process should not be taken lightly. Not all examiners are created equal, and some are outright frauds. To protect your investment and make an educated decision, make sure your examiner has attended an American Polygraph Association (APA) accredited training facility, maintains his/her continuing education, uses fully operational and calibrated equipment, has significant experience with relationship exams, and is well-rated with the Better Business Bureau. Avoid any form of “voice stress analysis” as this is a type of lie detector test that has not yet been scientifically validated.
After identifying a qualified examiner in your area, you must bring up the subject of polygraph testing with the person you wish to have tested, who is know as the “examinee.”. In many cases, the examinee has brought up the polygraph option him or herself as a way to resolve a situation, so that makes your presentation that much easier. In other situations, you should tell the prospective examinee that you have suspicions about some particular activity, and that you would like to be able to trust the other person again and feel that a polygraph exam would be the quickest and most direct way for that person to prove that he or she didn´t do something.
Once the examinee has agreed to take the test and you have scheduled your appointment, you must begin thinking about what questions to ask. Most examiners will allow up to 3 related questions per exam, but keep in mind that as you add more questions the less accurate the overall results will be. In other words, asking only one relevant question will produce the most accurate results. Be very suspicious of any examiner who offers to ask more than 3 or 4 related questions in a single exam.
Relevant polygraph questions must be objective, factual, distinct, and deal with past events. Questions must pertain to a factual event or statement that did or did not take place. Examiners will not ask about thoughts, feelings, emotions, intentions, or the future. It is not appropriate to ask about how someone feels about you - or what they plan to do in the future - in a polygraph setting. You may ask about sexual acts with other persons, contact or communication with specific individuals, viewing pornography, visiting strip clubs, running personal ads, and similar questions. You may also ask about previous marriages, known children, and known STDs. You may not ask whether the examinee loves you, is attracted to someone else, plans to stay with you, or whether he/she has lied to you about something. Examiners do not ask questions indirectly.
At the time of the exam, your examiner will discuss the case with you and work with you to develop the best questions for your particular situation. While you should tell the examinee the general nature of the questions, it is not advisable to provide the examinee with the exact questions that will be asked in advance of the exam. The night before the exam, make sure the person being tested gets a good night´s rest and eats a meal before the test. That person should avoid drugs and alcohol for at least 12 hours, other than prescription drugs taken on a regular basis. Caffeine will not affect the test. On the day of the exam, by all means do not fight or argue with the examinee. You want the examinee to be as relaxed as possible.
Following the exam, you should receive a written report containing the test results. This report should include the purpose for the exam, the relevant questions asked, the answers given, and the final determination of the examiner based on the polygrams (charts) that were produced. Test results will fall into one of three categories: (1) Deception indicated, (2) No deception indicated, or (3) Inconclusive or No Opinion. These results may be global (pertain to the overall exam) or individual (a decision is made to each relevant question) depending on the technique used. Global scoring is considered to be more accurate than individual scoring.
If the examination determined that there was deception indicated, it is strongly suggested that the couple enter couples counseling to discuss the test results and any admissions made during or after the testing process. If the results indicate truthfulness, you owe someone an apology.
Michael Martin is President of the Global Polygraph Network
Michael Martin has been a certified PDD (psychophysiological detection of deception) examiner since 1984 and has conducted nearly 9,000 exams in his career, including over 350 appearances on national and international television as a polygraph expert. Martin has conducted exams in connection with the Columbine High School shootings, the Joanne Katrinak murder case, and the Robert Chambers “Preppie Murder” case. Martin is a court-qualified polygraph expert.
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How to Make a Man Happy in a Relationship! 7 Things You Need to Know Right Away
By Krista Hiles
A lot of women are confused as they have no idea how to keep a man happy in a relationship. While most of them equate keeping a man happy with servility the case isn’t so. Here are the things that you need to do to keep a man happy.
Look good - for him
Men want their wives, girlfriends, lady friends to look good. While we all do look good for or men, somewhere when the relationship becomes stable this doesn’t hold good. Running around in our most comfortable sweats or faded jeans and a tee that’s out of fashion suddenly emerges, leaving the poor man confused and wondering if he’s got the short end of the stick. So take that effort and continue to look good for your man.
Do something special
At times you need to make your man feel special. When it’s a special occasion organize for something special and sometimes make him his special favorite meal for no reason at all.
Take the initiative
Sex is very important to men. But most women don’t feel confident enough to make the move on a man. Instead of feeling shy, surprise your man by taking initiative. It makes him feel attractive and desired and also makes him very happy.
Don’t be a pile on
Please do not think that being in a relationship means being joined at the hip. Spending some time away from each other is very important to preserve a relationship and make it grow stronger. It also reinforces your independence and has him feeling happy.
Make “me time” official
Men have a very vocal demand for space and it’s this demand that most women dismiss. If you want to keep your man happy then make the ‘me’ time official. Tell him that ‘you’ also need this space to grow and he will be a very happy man.
Quit all the nagging
Nag nag nag…a man’s biggest complaint about women. If you feel that nagging is your solution to make him do things then you couldn’t be further from the truth. So instead of complaining about everything that he does, try to find a way to make him understand your point of view and cut out on the nagging. Men have a need for appreciation so put things in that perspective and he will not only respond better but will also be happy.
Have great conversations
Work on your conversation skills. A man wants a relationship where he can have interesting and stimulating conversation. So get informed and prepare to have a good time with your man.
Pay Close Attention Here-
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Relationship Advice - What Women Really Want From Their Man!
By Linda E Cole
The kind of man most women want is one who will mate for life. She sees the bigger picture like home and family and if her man does not appreciate these things she will start to feel that he is out of the loop and not thinking on her wavelength.
I have a friend who is going crazy at the moment. She is pregnant with her first child and she cannot get her partner to move into a bigger house in readiness for their new arrival. Their apartment is so tiny you cannot swing a cat in it. There is no lack of money it is just that he thinks she is being unreasonable and she thinks he is being stubborn. She is so determined to have things right for her and the baby she has started looking for new accommodation. Her partner may be losing her because he did not understand her needs. A gesture on his part would have made her so happy but instead she is beginning to feel unappreciated.
Some men think women are moody creatures but this is not really so. Women have certain times of the month that can throw their hormones into an absolute spin where one minute they feel more romantic than usual then the next ready to rip their partners head off for not mowing the lawns. When women get pregnant some men think they have married someone with split personalities as once again those hormones are bouncing all over the place. Men need to embrace the difference between the two sexes and be aware that women do a lot of work. They often spend a good many years being pregnant and feeling like a baby making machine. So have a little compassion guys for the woman you love as her body gets all twisted out of shape and her moods seem hard to control as all you have to do is go along for the ride.
Never forget to tell your girl what she means to you and if you have been taking her for granted do not be surprised if you find a not when you come home from work one day. It may say” Bye Bob You probably will not even notice I am gone. Have A good Life Signed Mary” This has happened to a lot of guys who did not give their women enough time. Women need to be appreciated. Guys if you want to keep your woman happy never forget that important rule.
Another tip is to try and get on with her family and friends. What these significant people think of her man really matters to her. She wants to be proud of the guy she scored and feel her choice was right. Making an effort will really make her happy.
One final piece of advice is to make her laugh. There is nothing worse than being with a cynical uptight guy. Women want to have fun with their guy so drag out some jokes and keep her smiling. If you follow these simple relationship advice you will find you have the best of times.
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