Four Keys For a Successful Relationship
By Steve Steiner
There’s no limit to how successful your relationship can become as long as you keep in mind one essential point - you can’t do it alone. Without a serious and sincere commitment from each partner, relationships cannot grow and become successful. Relationships can’t grow with the effort of only one partner - when that’s the case, count on seeing the relationship dissolve shortly. Don’t forget - it takes two to tango! Even though there are going to be issues in any relationship, the strength of its foundation will help determine if it can withstand them. Here are some tested techniques for establishing such a strong foundation.
Don’t lie
The first essential foundation of any relationship is honesty. People in a relationship share their innermost thoughts and feelings with each other, but how can you do that if your partner lies and cannot be trusted? The things you tell her make up a tapestry that symbolizes not only your life, but your relationship together. Each lie is like a huge hole - meaning that the relationship is weak and incomplete. A relationship’s future is based on the quality of the foundation that’s built for it. If the foundation is made up of lies, then there’s little hope for any future because the relationship will collapse the first time it’s put to the test.
Relationships thrive on integrity
Someone who lies lacks integrity, but it goes deeper - integrity has to do with matching your words to your deeds as well. Thus, you show that you’ve got a problem with integrity when you break promises or don’t live up to other commitments. Your integrity is reflected in your actions every day, and how those actions match your words. Don’t think that just attending to the major commitments you make will convince people you’ve got integrity. If you display poor integrity in minor issues, sooner or later you’re going to jeopardize the relationship because she’s going to wonder if you can be trusted with something as important as her heart. The faith that’s so important to a relationship doesn’t just spring up - it’s nurtured by your constant attention to keeping your commitments large and small. As you keep on doing this as time goes on, she will trust you more and more and the two of you will grow ever closer.
Attend to her feelings
Part of the “work” of making a relationship thrive is paying attention to your partner even when you’d rather be doing something else. When she’s talking to you, it’s because she wants you to know something. How will you learn it if you stare at her and nod your head without actually processing what she’s saying, and thinking about it? She may be upset about what she’s telling you, but don’t get excited - remain collected, but if it’s appropriate, comfort her.
Cool, calm and collected is always the best way to be
If your objective is to win on those (hopefully rare) occasions when you fight, rather than to settle the differences you’re experiencing, you’re going to damage your relationship. What’s more important - winning the argument or strengthening your relationship? Proving you’re better, or understanding her point of view and why she’s upset? If you concentrate on solving the problem instead of victory at all costs, the relationship will strengthen and grow.
One last thing: it may seem trite, but tell her you love her. Tell her often, and while you’re at it, tell her how beautiful she is - especially after she’s spent a lot of time making herself look just right to go out somewhere with you. Make sure she always knows that she’s loved and she’ll never want to risk that love by walking out!
Steve Steiner enjoys helping men improve their relationship and manage the problems that they may experience in relating with and dating women.
If you found this article helpful and would like to learn more ways to improve your relationship, check out Make Relationship Work and Stop a Breakup.
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Setting Boundaries in Relationships
By Judy H. Wright
Setting personal boundaries are like identifying the gates in our invisible fence lines which protects the precious heart and soul inside our bodies. Many people look at boundaries as walls, but rather when we establish healthy boundaries it provides a way to distinguish what we choose to let in and let out. They form flexible gates, not stationary walls It is important to learn about setting healthy boundaries so we can make decisions about what is and what isn’t permissible in all relationships.
Boundaries are valuable
All relationships work more harmoniously when the participants know what to expect and what is expected of them. Being kind, but firm when stating what you need from a relationship allows the other person to reciprocate. How other people act and think often has nothing to do with you, but rather with their own perceptions. You can only take care of yourself.
It doesn’t matter how elaborate the fencing and eloquent our statements are, if we don’t honor ourselves enough to draw the line and stick to it consistently. It is just as valuable to the other person that they learn how to be with you and what the guidelines are for the relationship.
Body Language and tone of voice
Verbal communication is the language of information and only 20 % is absorbed. Body language and tone of voice is the language of relationships and 80% is remembered. Make sure you appear confident and you speak with a neutral, calm and non-accusing tone when establishing your boundaries. Use “I” statements which reflect on how things affect you, rather than “you” statements which put people on the defensive.
4 Step model for setting boundaries
1. Calmly inform the other person by stating, “I feel uncomfortable and want to shut down when you yell at me.”
2. Request that they honor your boundary. “I ask that you talk to me without yelling.” Or ..For me to listen and hear what you are saying to me, I need to you speak to me in a calm voice without yelling.
3. Insist that they honor your boundary, again with a firm but kind voice, “I insist that when we are talking we talk in calm voices.”
4. Leave the situation. Now is not the time or place to continue communicating with someone who refuses to respect your boundaries. Leave the door open to talk later in a more respectful manner. Continue to maintain a calm but firm voice and say, “I will not continue this conversation in this way. I welcome an opportunity to talk with you without yelling or screaming at another time. Let me know if you decide to visit without raised voices.”
Don’t take it personally
You can not assume responsibility for other people’s feelings, agendas or methods of communication. You can only state how you desire to be treated in life. If there are old patterns, it may take some time to convince others that you are serious about sticking to your boundaries. Everyone has the right to be treated with respect and courtesy.
People you know may be surprised at first when you tell them they have crossed the line, but will respect you more in the end. Hopefully, they will model this communication style and it will make for more honest and open relationships for all.
© Judy H. Wright, Parent educator and Author
www.ArtichokePress.com
Judy H. Wright is an author of many parenting and family relation books and articles. Ezines, blogs and monthly specials as well as books, workshops, CD’s are available at her website: http://www.ArtichokePress.com To schedule a training session, write JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com or call 406-549-9813.
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Free Phone Dating Services
By Jason Gluckman
Many agencies are offering free phone dating services. The majority, if not all, of the major online dating services are providing free membership to their new services that are offered over the cell phone. These kinds of services have become extremely popular, and the “try before you buy” technique of marketing mobile phone dating is making it crazily popular.
Phone dating is a way of meeting dating-partners through the use of cell phones. With a mobile dating service, it is possible for individuals to find a date anytime, anywhere. Irrespective of where the individuals are, these dating services allow access to the profiles of possibly hundreds of men or women available for dating. Free phone dating services allow individuals to access the profiles of people who match their own profile of things they like to do, places they like to visit, and even the kinds of movies they like to watch.
The chances for finding someone compatible to date are much higher when using phone-dating services than it is when going out to a bar or a disco. The reason for this is that not everyone in a bar or a nightclub is looking for a date. With phone dating, everyone on the dating service is a part of it for the purpose of meeting someone.
Many of the phone dating services are 100% free to register and join. This is the main reason why everyday thousands of dating partners are opting for phone dating services. Even joining a free trial is very easy to do. Once individuals submit their registration information and have a login and password, they are free to upload their profile and start looking at the profiles of other people who are looking for someone just like them.
One of the best things about mobile dating services is that once individuals register and set up their profile, the dating service takes care of the rest of the formalities. Individuals can search for dating partners in their area automatically through their cell phone.
Free Dating Services provides detailed information on Free Dating Services, Free Online Dating Services, Free Senior Dating Services, Free Christian Dating Services and more. Free Dating Services is affiliated with Free Gay Dating Sites [http://www.e-FreeDatingSites.com].
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How to Be Successful in Online Dating
By Sean A Moronse
Online dating has been a trend to single individuals today. Whether for friendship, activity partners or a serious relationship, online dating has become a way to find a partner. Some said that it is not safe. Indeed, if you don’t take precaution you will end up failing in an online date. However, these disadvantages can be overcome easily.
You may be reading this now, because you have decided to take part in online dating. Of course you don’t want to start dating without knowing some tips on how you can have a successful online date. There are some ways and tips on how you can be successful in online dating. First and foremost, you have to be honest. It’s a very simple concept, if you want others to be honest with you, be honest with them too. But of course, honesty doesn’t mean you’re going to give up all your personal information at once. At first, be honest with your gender and relationship status whether you’re single, divorce, or widowed. It’s a plus factor for some individuals to know that you are proud and not afraid to show the real you. Second factor will be communication. Any relationship whether real or online needs proper communication. If you have your prospective partner, make sure to email him once in a while casually. Ask him how he is doing. Show him that you want to know more about him and want to take part in his or her interest. Good online communication can decrease the anxiety and awkwardness on the first date of you plan to take your relationship offline. Go out for more than one date. Of course, one date is not enough to know the person you met online well. Give a chance for both of you to meet each other for the second time. First dates are always full of anxiety, it will be best for both of you to set up a second one to be more comfortable with each other, if it doesn’t work out for both of you on the second date, then maybe its time for you to find another one. Be an open minded person. Taking part in an online dating community means you already open yourself to limitless possibilities of meeting different kind of person. Not every person you meet will be you Mr. or Ms. Right. You have to take into consideration the fact that each individual has a unique personality. Don’t be judgmental when you failed on the first person you meet online. Give yourself and others a chance to fully enjoy the experience of successful online dating.
It is an enjoyable experience to participate and take part in dating. Each day is exciting and thrilling when you believe that you will eventually find someone who will love you will come anytime of the day. Now that you have the knowledge on how you can be successful on online dating, you’re ready to move on to the next step, finding Mr. or Ms. Right.
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