The Importance of Confidence in Relationships
By Elaine Sihera
In any relationship, no two people’s confidence will ever match to perfection. But successful couples tend to share part of a confidence continuum, usually the positive end, which increases the level of tolerance in each individual, thus prolonging the union. Where confidence is highly mismatched, which affects a high proportion of relationships, one partner is likely to grow in esteem as he/she settles into the union and achieves his/her own goals, while the other will noticeably lag behind, more than likely feeling insecure and inadequate.
In such cases it is difficult to be mutually supportive because the confident party would be keen to get on while the other would be more cautious, fearful or even resentful. As expectations won’t be met, frustrations soon become apparent, strangling enthusiasm and effort, while competition or apathy sets in. The seeds for a breakdown would already be in place. In fact, one could almost predict the development of a relationship from the individual scores of a good confidence quiz administered during courtship!
Difficult to Please
People with low esteem are also very self-conscious in appearance, being difficult to please and to reach, because of their defensive barriers. They tend to be overtly superficial, mean with appreciation and often inspire little faith in, or respect from, others. You will rarely hear the words ‘I love you’, ‘I admire you’, ‘You look great’, ‘Wonderful to have you in my life’, or ‘You’re so clever’ from low-confidence partners because they want such praise too and, not getting it from anywhere, they cannot reciprocate. Instead, they adopt a superior attitude and partners are likely to be treated as though they should be grateful for any affection or attention they receive.
However, being low in self-worth, and also with an insatiable need for reinforcement to boost their own egos, those of poor esteem are always expecting others to affirm them, to love them and to value what they do continuously. They tend to believe their more positive partners are never doing enough to appreciate them - a situation which is likely to become wearisome for that partner because of the one-way nature of the relationship. We have to love ourselves first before we can understand that love and then pass it back to others.
Low-confidence people also find it hard to solve personal difficulties. Being too ready to blame others for their own misfortune, they expect scapegoats to provide the answers, often refusing to believe that any solution lies within themselves. Blaming others becomes a handy crutch for doing nothing. Sadly, it also maintains their low self-acceptance and reduces their personal value and appeal.
Dragged Down by Negativity
The trouble with having extremes of confidence competing in a relationship is that, sooner or later, the positive person will be dragged down by the negativity of the other, be severely limited by her, be demoralised by his inevitable criticism and carping or, alternatively, be suffocated by her fawning, whingeing or marked lack of respect for personal space. Males with low self-esteem tend to be controllers in relationships, always keen to control their environment excessively, like wardens in a prison, and to point out blunders and errors. They tend to feel insecure if they are not in charge. Such men often seem quiet, retiring and competent to others, but are likely to behave like bullies at home, especially towards their family - the captive audience.
Characterised by weakness and dependency, females with low esteem tend to behave like doormats, always trying to please, even at their own expense. They are usually the last to appreciate their negative circumstances which many others can easily see. Often they take their treatment without a whimper, no matter how degrading, violent and brutal, in return for the continuing attention, approval and self-reinforcement they crave. In time, for both men and women, they lose their self-respect entirely, their friends gradually disappear and they become dependent upon their job as workaholics, upon friends or relatives, or upon each other, especially for self-reinforcement and validation. Such relationships are likely to exclude others, becoming increasingly limiting, claustrophobic and destructive in the end.
Is your relationship/marriage holding you back? Try our RELATIONSHIP QUIZ to test how you feel about your partnership. A bad relationship robs you of a life because it has a domino effect on everything else. Find out the state of yours now.
ELAINE SIHERA is an expert author, public speaker, media contributor and lifestyle columnist. The first Black graduate of the OU and a post-graduate of Cambridge University. Elaine is a Personal Empowerment and Relationships Consultant. Author of: 10 Easy Steps to Growing Older Disgracefully; 10 Easy Steps to Finding Your Ideal Soulmate!; Money, Sex & Compromise, among others (available on http://www.amazon.co.uk as well as her personal website). She describes herself as, “Fit, Fabulous, Over-fifty and Ready to Fly!”
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elaine_Sihera
http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Importance-of-Confidence-in-Relationships&id=568705
Tags:
Symbiotic Relationships
By Kent Pinkerton
Relationships are inevitable for any living being whether it is an animal, a plant, a microscopic organism or a human being. Symbiotic relationships are relationships where two organisms of different species live and work together, each one of them benefiting from mutual cooperation. This term is generally used in biology for explaining the relationship between two entities that need each other to survive and prosper.
A common example for symbiotic relationships is that both the human as well as the animal kingdom is dependent on the oxygen produced by the plant kingdom. Conversely, plants depend on animals and humans for carbon dioxide to prepare their food. Another example of this relationship is that of the bee and the flower. Bees get nectar from flowers. Pollination also takes place when the bee flies from one flower to another. Some of the common symbiotic relationships include humans and cultivated plants, humans and domesticated animals, as well as small mammals and hypogenous fungi.
There are different kinds of symbiotic relationships. They vary according to the behavior and characteristics of the species. Each type of symbiotic relationship is given a separate name by ecologists. A relationship in which both the species benefit is called mutualism, usually referred to as a symbiotic relationship. The process in which only one species benefits whereas the other is unaffected is termed commensalism. Parasitism is a relationship in which one species benefits and the other is harmed. When neither of the species benefits, it is competition. The last category is neutralism, where both species remain unaffected.
Among the humans also you can see symbiotic relationships. Let us take the case of a venture capitalist and an entrepreneur. The capitalist needs investment opportunities provided by the entrepreneur. In the same way, entrepreneurs require investment capital, which in turn is offered by venture capitalists. In this way both parties benefit equally. Thus symbiotic relationships can be observed in any ecosystem, in one form or another.
Relationships provides detailed information on Relationships, Online Relationships, Relationship Advice, Relationship Quiz and more. Relationships is affiliated with Interracial Couples.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Kent_Pinkerton
http://EzineArticles.com/?Symbiotic-Relationships&id=354368
Tags:
Teen Dating Tips
By Mark Else
Introduction
No doubt that at some part of your life so far you have had a crush on someone, maybe that is why you are here now.
You might also be here to find out how to tell what true love is or how to tell if he/she is the “perfect” match for you, well to be totally honest, noone can tell you who mr/mrs perfect is, and noone can tell you what true love is, because “true love” and “perfect” both mean different things for different people.
There is also two different types of love, I got taught these by an ex-girlfriend and didn’t really understand them at the time.
Type one is “loving” someone, anyone can love someone, but love is just a word, and i love my mates/mum/sister/etc but it doesn’t mean they are my perfect partner.
Type two is “being in love” with someone, the main difference with this one is that its not just a word, its a feeling, a feeling that you feel for a certain person. Being in love is the one that makes your heart jump into your mouth, the one that gets you excited everytime you see them, and being in love is the most important thing in a relationship, if you have two people that are totally “in love” with each other then the chances are they will have a long, strong and happy relationship.
Teen Dating PT2 - Whats What
As if life is not already confusing enough, and now we are gonna chuck in some love. Once you reach your teenage years you will no doubt start experimenting with the opposite sex, one of the things you might experiment with is dating.
Dating is a great experience, it can teach you many things, some are useless, but some things can change you for the rest of your life, because that person that has asked you on the date could be the person you spend the rest of you life with, it is a scary thought but there really aint much that you should be scared of, because its all part of the fun.
If you are ever asked out on a date here are a few bits of advice;
* Do you like the person that has asked you?
Dating is meant to be a fun experience, if your not interested in the person that has asked you, do the smart thing and say no, if you are interested in the person then great what you waiting for.
* Does this person pressure you?
If the person that has asked you tries to put pressure on you to do things that you do not want to do say no, you could still date but do not let them pressure you into things you do not want to do.
* Does this person make you feel safe?
The best thing about love is knowing that the other person makes you feel safe, if you are afraid of the person, or scared he might do something you dont want to do, its probally a good idea to skip the date.
* Do you share interest/hobbies?
If you both share similar interest/hobbies it makes dates a whole lot easier since it means that you will have something to talk about that the other person will be interested in listening to.
Teen Dating PT 3 - Further Down the Line
Once you start dating the same person for a while and the dating turns more into a relationship, you might start to feel pressurised to do more intimate things such as sex, your friends will also start asking questions such as “How far have you gone”, or “have you shagged him/her yet”, but you should not give into this pressure unless you really feel that you are ready.
If you do feel that you are ready to start having a sexual relationship, remember to take pre-cautions and have safe sex by using a condom and other forms of contraception, and girls don’t think that its a boys job to remember a condom, it doesn’t hurt you to have a couple spare. If you fail to have safe sex then you are exposing yourself to STIs and un-planned pregnancies.
Article written by & copyright MyCYC.com - Free Teen Blogs, for more article like these please visit my homepage.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mark_Else
http://EzineArticles.com/?Teen-Dating-Tips&id=110760
Tags:
Posted in:
Dating : :
Comments Off
Herpes Dating Advice
By Victor Lewis
Herpes, a highly contagious sexually transmitted disease will get in the way of your dating and love life if you let it.
For example, if you try and talk about it with a new love or dating interest, there is a very good chance you’ll be rejected as someone he or she would like to start a relationship with.
Tread slowly with someone new if you don’t feel comfortable discussing it and don’t become intimate until you do feel comfortable.
On one hand, you really can’t blame a potential match for rejecting you. After all, you have an infectious sexually transmitted disease. And they will always doubt your decision making process no matter what they say. So why bother?
On the other hand, wouldn’t it make more sense to meet potential love or dating interests who have herpes already? Why go through the guilt, shame and rejection with non-herpes people when thousands of people in your own area who have herpes are available and share your outlook on dating?
Dating people with herpes takes the issue off the table and you both can concentrate on getting to know each other better and planting the seeds for a wonderful long term partnership.
If you do decide to date a non-herpes person, be responsible and protect her or him from contracting this annoying life style changing disease.
You should be honest and out yourself as a person with herpes. You’ll feel better and he or she will appreciate and respect you. Hopefully they won’t dump you and you’ll be able to start building a stable relationship.
Don’t let your hopes for a meaningful and lifelong love relationship end with Herpes. There are thousands of people just like you in your area. All you need is a place where you can find and meet them and an online dating website is just what you need.
Visit: http://www.BuildingaStableRelationship.com and find the love of your life!
It’s easier then you think.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Victor_Lewis
http://EzineArticles.com/?Herpes-Dating-Advice&id=4344094
Tags:
Posted in:
Dating : :
Comments Off
Home Loan Advice: Four Things to Check Before Applying for One
By Lindsey Jenkins
Credit History
Most home loan advice sites advise that before you go run to your nearest lender for a home loan, you need to check if you got the credit history necessary to back you up. A clean and attractive credit history isn’t just for show, and clean records with your financial dealings would ensure great home loan deals with better rates. One way to measure how good you’re doing with your credit score is to evaluate even in a general way your debt-to-income ratio. This is the balance of your income against your debts. The lower this ratio is, the better your current credit score. Of course, past billing statements from your banks can serve as resources for your credit history assessment of your self. To better maintain your current credit standing if you’ve determined that you got a good score going, is to not open lines of credit and not to close active accounts. Opening lines of credit like a credit card account would affect your score negatively, plus it gives an avenue for cashless spending in a time when you don’t have too much spending money-it’s a temptation you can do better without. Closing active accounts would affect your credit score by eliminating one of the accounts that contributed to your current score in the first place. Keeping these accounts open would maintain what score you already have.
Employment History
Most lenders prefer that you’ve stayed with your current employer at the time of application for a home loan for at east two years. This is preferable, but not really a requirement. This tells the lender that you can stay with a professional relationship for long and that you probably will stay with the same employer (and thus maintain your financial standing) for longer. Of course, after getting the loan, endeavor to NOT change jobs or quit, as this would adversely affect your financial capabilities and thus your mortgage repayments.
Lender
One clear rule about choosing a lender is remembering three things: reputable, trusted, and reliable. Simple as that. You can do background searches on the internet for some feedback regarding your preferred lenders.
Interest Rates
There are two types of interest rates: fixed and adjustable. Fixed rate mortgages are easy enough o understand-they stay the same throughout your repayment years and up to the time of the loan’s maturity. Adjustable rates are the ones a bit harder to understand. In general, these rates fluctuate according to political, financial, and economic data at any given time. So it can go up during economic turmoil, or down in favorable political and financial conditions. Generally, it’s advisable to get fixed rate mortgages if you intend to stay in the home you’re getting the loan for for the rest of your life. Otherwise, if you plan on moving on to a different home, then adjustable rate of interest is ideal.
Are you looking for more information regarding Home loan advice? Visit http://gianthomeloans.com today!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lindsey_Jenkins
http://EzineArticles.com/?Home-Loan-Advice:-Four-Things-to-Check-Before-Applying-for-One&id=5522115
Tags:
Posted in:
Advice : :
Comments Off
Home Loan Advice About Credit and Employment History
By Lindsey Jenkins
The World Wide Web is a vast expanse filled with good sources of information on just about anything you can possibly want to know anything about. As such, even home loan advice for people interested in getting a home loan can be easily accessible. In fact, with interest rates decreasing significantly, more and more people are starting to get interested in the prospect of finally buying their own home; hence, the need for reliable sources of information about mortgages and home loans is also on the rise. Luckily, there are sites for your home loan needs.
Among the many things you can get mortgage information, the basics, jargon, and some guides and advice. You can make great use of their mortgage calculator for doing the math on a repayment scheme you and your monthly income can be most comfortable with-a scheme inclusive of taxes and insurance. Home loan advice and guides are also a plus, especially for people who have never owned a home before and are just neophytes walking into unfamiliar territory. Better walk in prepared than get lost along the way. Buying a home by getting a loan is one of the most important investments in your lifetime, and a certain degree of getting ready is in order. People can really benefit from advice about how to choose lenders, information on jargon and technicalities, and even about the various mortgage markets in place. Some useful advice is regarding credit history and employment history-two major contributing factors to the overall process of taking out and paying back a loan.
Your credit history would be double checked from credit report authorities and any discrepancies or negative marks would impact what sort of loans you can take out and how much interest can be applied to them. Needless to say, a pristine credit history is the best. But it’s not just your credit history but also your credit standing-as in current credit standing-that can affect even ongoing payments of current home loans. As such, you need to keep your track record blemish free as much as humanly possible. Some ways to do that would be to avoid opening or closing accounts. Do not open credit card accounts or any types of lines of credit. Not only would they serve as tempting nuisances during a period where you have very limited access to spending money, they could also bring you to financial ruin. Simply opening line of credit can negatively impact on your credit standing. If you have active accounts, do not close them-even if they have zero balances in them. These accounts help maintain your credit standing, and closing them would leave the rest of your accounts to dictate which way your credit standing goes.
Your employment history is very important before applying for a loan. Most of the time, at least two years of working for the same employer is most preferred, but isn’t a requirement. Of course after getting a loan, it is strongly recommended to not change jobs or quit.
Are you looking for more information regarding Home loan advice? Visit http://gianthomeloans.com today!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lindsey_Jenkins
http://EzineArticles.com/?Home-Loan-Advice-About-Credit-and-Employment-History&id=5522080
Tags:
Posted in:
Advice : :
Comments Off