Do Not Let Loneliness Be A Factor In Your Relationships by Stanley Popovich

Some people get into a relationship for the sake of not being alone. This can be a mistake. Getting into a relationship with someone just for the sake of not being alone is not very smart. Here are some ways on how to deal with this fear of loneliness.

Getting into a relationship with someone for the sake of not being by yourself can cause problems down the road. What happens if you pick the wrong person? You choose someone and you get married. After five or six months, you start to realize that you made a mistake in selecting this person. What do you do now?

Its not fun being alone but being with someone that you can barely tolerate is not the answer. Once you get married and have kids, it can be very difficult to get out of the relationship if things turn south. Make the smart decisions now and do not let loneliness become a issue in your relationships.

Spending some time with animals can get rid of loneliness. Get a pet or volunteer at your local animal shelter. Walking or petting the animals can be very effective in managing loneliness. Animals are a great source for companionship.

Get a hobby. Find something you like to do and get involved. If you like to play volleyball, then find a local team. If you like to lift weights, then go to a gym. Doing something you like will keep you active and help you to make friends.

Develop a network of friends. A person who has friends will not be as alone as for someone who is constantly by themselves. Again, join a group where you can develop long lasting friendships.

Take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your depression and anxieties. They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future. Remember that it never hurts to ask for help.

Finally, if being alone bothers you that much then its best to see a professional. He or she can give you insights on how to better manage your fear of being alone. There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact the average person spends some time alone during their lifetime.

Stan Popovich is the author of, A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear, an easy to read book that presents a overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com

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Best Seller Books on Relationships - Do They Actually Tell You the Truth? by Kim Aron

One of the first things we do when we break up is to get some books about relationships. Now, the question is how do you know which ones are the best ones? With so many different books available all of them offering different advice, it is often very confusing.

This article will provide you with some useful tips on how to pick the best books about relationships.

The Author’s Name Does not Matter

First thing to consider when trying to get a good book on relationships is not to pay too much attention to the initials that an author’s name may have at the end of his or her name. Although these initials will give you an idea of all the studies this person has, it is not an indicative of the expertise in these matters they may have.

The best thing to do is to go for a book written by an author who knows all about these things “first hand”. This means that either they have been through these sorts of problems and have overcome all the difficulties or they have helped lots of people to do it.

What you want to read are books that don’t have the typical advice of putting your relationship aside for a month and during that month focus on working on yourself. You will be amazed to see that many of the books and eBooks that can be found in the market make this concept their main theme. Honestly, they are not worth spending your time and money on them.

What to Look for in Relationship Books

Look for books that can offer you more and new information, some advice and tips your close friends have not given you yet or simply can’t give you.

You may find yourself in need of advice on how to recover from an affair or how to get relief from the pain a break up causes. Friends or relatives may not be able to provide you with advice for these situations, but if you find a book or eBook that can, then you have found a good one.

The recommendations you may find about a book are certainly a good way of knowing if it is worth buying and reading it. So look at who recommend the book you have found. Read the testimonials and see if they are specific or generic. If books are recommended by a whole variety of people, then that means that it has been read by people from different backgrounds, cities and situations. This book then may help you as well.

You can find lots of books about relationships on the market and eBooks on Internet, but unfortunately most of them have been written by people who have not gone through the experience, so their advice would be very generic and simple. Remember, you are looking for more than that in a book.

To find the best books available on the market that talk about relationships is something that will need some work from your part. But in the end, your efforts will be rewarded, as you will be able to get the best book for your money.

Discover proven methods to getting your relationship back on track. Learn how to save a relationship at How To Get Your Ex Back

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A Gold Medal in Love by site admin

A Gold Medal in Love by Sean North

Five-time gold medal-winning figure skater, Jenny Kilmer, has won the women’s Olympics since she was 16. At 36, she is attempting to win her sixth straight gold medal. Kilmer has been blessed to have such fame and fortune with sporting equipment endorsements and TV contracts. She has gotten everything that he has set out to get, except for one thing: love.

Love is what has been eluding her. She has had many relationships, but none that have transpired into anything beyond just a relationship. Her latest relationship with Scott seemed to be destined to the same scenario.

Since two years old, Jenny’s life has been all about skating. Her intensive training has obviously paid off professionally because of her gold medals, but personally, even her trainer, Yon, cannot stand to be around her. It was five days until the Women’s Olympic medal competition.

Yon asked her, “Do you think that you’re gonna find that special guy like that girl did in that movie, ‘The Cutting Edge?’” he said in his Russian accent. “You are ten times the spoiled brat that she was.” “Absolutely,” said Jen. “I’m Jenny Kilmer. America’s Sweetheart. Every man wants me.” “Until they get to know you,” Yon retorted. “But they get together in the end.” “Actors get together in the end, not skaters!” “Whatever, Yon.” “You know I am right. Scott is on to you like the others. You don’t need anybody. No one is gonna tell the great Jenny Kilmer what to do! What has it cost you?” “Allright, allright, Yon.” “Have you not learned anything about love since we’ve been working together? Since you were 16? When it comes to love, you still talk like a 16-year old. Your mother and your father are at their rope’s end with you. Your agents put up with you because you make them money.” “Why are you still here, Yon? You can coach anyone you want. You’ve got your five gold’s with me. What’s keeping you here?” “I want to see you come full circle. You’ve got nothing more to prove in skaing. The pressure is totally off of you in this Olympics. I am partly to blame for you being the way that you are. I have pushed you too much for too long.” “So, what are you saying?” “I have made my dreams into your dreams and I am sorry. I want you to win the Gold Medal…in love.” “But, why are you saying this now? After all this time?” “Scott loves you with all of his heart. Do you remember when you broke your ankle two years ago at the Nationals when you tried the quadruple lutz? He went on to the ice and carried you off. He doesn’t care about your skating. He cares about you! He cancelled a multimillion-dollar building project to be with you for two weeks after your injury. He lost dollars after dollars for his company, got demoted and risked getting fired for you. He slept in the chair in your hospital room for two weeks! That’s love! Scott is one of the greatest things to ever happen to you and you cannot see this. You are headed to becoming a bitter old maid! You’ve got another half-hour till practice is over. Skating- it’s what you’re best at. Go on!”

For one of the first times in her 36 years, Jen Kilmer was silenced, but not without tears of sadness and despair. She could not stop crying…even after practice ended.

The next day, Kilmer fell time after time attempting to do a quadruple lutz. Very few skaters have ever successfully done the quad lutz.

Yon coached Kilmer, “You are not falling because you don’t know how to do the quad lutz. You are falling because Scott has not called in a week.” “What else am I gonna do, Yon?” Kilmer asked. “Call him again and apologize to him – for real this time. At least you’ll know you’ve tried. If you don’t see him again, so be it.”

The day of the Women’s medal event arrived. Several of Kilmer’s competitors had subpar performances, which eased the pressure even more for her. Still…her pressure was not on the ice. She could probably do a very safe program and still win the gold.

Jenny and Yon were in the locker room. Kilmer was stretching as part of her warmup routine. She spoke apathetically to Yon. “Scott’s not gonna show, Yon. I’ve pushed him away like all the other guys before him. I’ve been the biggest bitch to him. He put up with so much of my crap. I won’t be able to show any of my children my gold medals because there won’t be any husband to start a family,” she said confessingly as she started to cry. “ I AM gonna be a bitter old skating commentator for some TV network and I’ll smile my typical smile and show to the world that Jen Kilmer is the happiest woman in the world. I’m such a phony.”

Kilmer’s name was announced on the public address, which meant that it was time for her two-minute warmup before her program.

Kilmer skated gracefully and confidently as usual. She was a skating legend. In her mind, she was just going through the motions. She nailed some practice double and triple lutzes, which she could do in her sleep.

As she skated toward her coach, she formed a puzzled look on her face. Yon was smiling and laughing next to a man who had his back turned to her. Jenny braked and as the man who was laughing with Yon turned around.

“Scott,” Jenny said straining to say his name. She was finally able to get her breath. “Why? Why are you here? I thought I lost you.” “That’s what Yon thought too until I called him,” said Scott. “You called Yon, but you didn’t call me?” “Don’t push it.” I love you, Scott,” she said. “Thank you for being with me after I broke my ankle. You’ve always been there for me and I’ve treated you like crap. Like I told you on your message-phone, I am so sorry.” “All is forgiven, my dear. You can thank Yon for it.” Kilmer smiled at her coach. “I’m doing the quad lutz. And I’m gonna nail it!” “Are you insane? If you wanna win a sixth gold, don’t go for the quadruple lutz! You were lucky four years ago, but remember what you did last year in the Nationals? You fell flat on your ass!” Yon reminded her. “I’m gonna have fun this time, Yon. For the first time in the Olympics, I’m gonna have fun because I finally got everything that I’ve wanted. This is it. After this skate, I’m done. I’ve won the gold this year.” Yon nodded his head with approval and a slight smile. Scott had a puzzled look on his face. “You haven’t skated yet.” “Oh yes I DO HAVE the gold,” she took Scott in her arms. “He’s right here and I’m never gonna let him go,” she sniffled. “I have five gold medals. Now I want some babies. Will you marry me?” “Yes!” said Scott surprised. “I love you, Jen with every bone in my body.”

Scott and Jenny kissed passionately as a couple of Olympic officials walked up to Yon to let him know that his skater was next. When they were done kissing, Yon tapped Jen on the shoulder. “Well then,” said Yon, “You’ve got one more skating duty. As you said, have fun.” He smiled widely. As her named was announced, Kilmer skated onto the ice with the biggest grin she ever had on her face. The crowd’s applause had never been louder for America’s Sweetheart. Kilmer could not hold back the tears of joy. She knew it was her last skate. Jenny Kilmer had won the gold even before her program. She won the gold medal in love.

Sean North primarily helps writers gain focus, motivation, remove mental blocks that help to unblock the writing process. EVERYONE who writes has been stuck at some point in his or her career. You do not have to accept these mind-boggling roadblocks!

seannorthstn@aol.com

(586) 216-7516

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Find The Endless Love - Part 4 - Loving Yourself by administrator

by Luke Within

Perhaps we should consider those people who seem to live their lives in an apparently altruistic manner, dedicating themselves to conservation, charity, public service, learning, research, and so on. Could this be an illustration of the unconditional love that many of us hope to discover? Of course, the most important factor isn’t what these people actually do, but the reasons why they do it. If their conduct is truly altruistic, then that must mean that their key motivation is to work for the benefit of others, an outlook which clearly suggests a certain lack of concern for the various personal rewards which may be gathered while fulfilling these particular roles.

This description would seem to open up the possibility of anyone living their life in an altruistic manner. In other words, anyone can choose to move in this direction if they so wish, regardless of their social position or status. Whether they benefit others on a large scale or a small scale really doesn’t matter, only that this is their prime motivation as they engage in their various activities. Clearly, very few people are truly advanced in this respect, perhaps only those rare individuals who are able to approach all people with the same generous attitude. Kindness and generosity of spirit will distinguish such a person, qualities that each one of us should surely be striving to attain in ever larger measure.

You cannot, therefore, identify the genuinely altruistic person by simply looking at the type of position that someone holds. Even though their work may appear to have great benefits for the community, their involvement may be based on largely selfish considerations. Their principal motivation may be something other than the benefit of others, for example, the pursuit of power, or praise, or even, perhaps, an escape from serious personal troubles. Conversely, the person who holds no position of note may be very advanced in this regard, even though their efforts may be entirely unnoticed.

This analysis seems to suggest that each one of us has the potential to move towards that unconditional love in our life. Two elements seem to play a major role in this process: understanding and forgiveness. Starting with ourselves, we need to become more detached and impartial, qualities that will allow us to see ourselves as we really are, while avoiding the great sense of disappointment that this process often brings. We shouldn’t judge the qualities which we uncover, simply acknowledge them, accepting that they are a natural product of the various experiences which have come our way in our lifetime. The unconditional love that we seek must start with ourselves. If we can’t accept ourselves, we will hardly be able to accept anyone else.

The truth is, most people carry a pretty distorted view of themselves, refusing to acknowledge those qualities which they find regrettable. The reason for this is quite simple. From a very early age we feel a very natural need to feel good about ourselves, a requirement which is absolutely crucial to our healthy development. We need to feel that we are good, that we are valued, that we are loved. We then look to all those around us to see whether this is the case or not, taking note of the many positive and negative reactions which constantly come our way. In other words, how we actually feel about ourselves is completely out of our control, entirely dependent on the various fragments of feedback that we receive from others.

Those who experience rejection, who are attacked for their faults and weaknesses, who are mocked for their failures, tend to become victims of anxiety, and are forced to adopt a wide variety of coping mechanisms. The pain which they naturally feel is frequently repressed, placed somewhere in the background of their mind, allowing them to carry on as if unaffected. The anger that usually results may then be displaced, shifted to someone or something other than the original cause, a process which is likely to produce even more negative feedback. The guilt of having behaved badly is then repressed, and so on. Unless addressed, these painful feelings may stay with us throughout our entire lives, affecting all our relations with others, and preventing us from realising our highest potential as a human being.

There are many people, however, who have no personal knowledge of the problems just described. This can be illustrated by using the fictitious example of one very lucky young boy. He was brought up in a good home, where there was no serious conflict and he was treated with love and kindness. Every single day he received a generous amount of positive attention from at least one loving adult, allowing him to develop the knowledge, skills and confidence which would prepare him well for school.

Being a happy child, with good social skills, school proved to be a very enjoyable experience. He was able to concentrate on his various activities, his behaviour was under control and he was very popular with his classmates and teachers. He performed very well, was praised for his talents and conduct, and continued to receive excellent support at home. Not surprisingly, he was very successful and many qualifications were gained.

He made friends easily, pursued a successful career, settled down in a stable and loving relationship, and so on. Naturally, he felt good about himself and the life he was building. He had no inner conflicts, no repressed memories, due to the fact that life had treated him so incredibly well. He had a calm, relaxed manner and couldn’t remember the last time that he was angry. What a fortunate fellow he clearly was! Although this may all sound very ideal to most people, there are many people in our society, both male and female, who would have little problem identifying with the essence of the story just presented.

Does this mean that he had attained that unconditional love in his life? No, it certainly does not. Given that there had been such a steady abundance of good fortune in his life, we simply don’t know how he would react to the kind of severe setback that seems to happen to so many of us. The serious consequences of failure, rejection and guilt remained a complete mystery to him, something that he couldn’t really relate to since they were completely outside his realm of experience. His excellent background meant that he hadn’t yet encountered the darker side of his own nature, a potential which still lay dormant within him, resulting in a self-knowledge which was clearly only partially developed.

The main danger that this situation presents is the problem of pride. When we feel good about ourselves based on our qualities, abilities and achievements, there is a strong probability that we will have little understanding for those of apparently lesser ability and character. We will judge them by our own standards and values, making no effort to consider the deeper reasons for their less admirable conduct. It is only when we are willing to take the necessary time to understand that we are all essentially the same, each with the potential for good or evil, that the problem of pride can gradually be overcome.

Any comments?
I can be contacted at this email address: billynicol@aol.com
How did I find that love? Well, you can have a look at these 2 websites: http://www.contact-info.net and http://www.tprf.org
People from the UK can visit this website: http://www.wordsofpeace.net
Good luck!

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Article Source: Just Enjoy Life

Improve Dating- Solve Quizzes by administrator

Every one of us who are attempting to date has many queries. All center on one common question- how do I improve my dating results? This goal raises many questions. What is your dating personality? Are you liked by the opposite sex? Do you look lovable? Do you know about online dating? Do you know about preparing your online profile? How do you write emails? What is your dress style? What is the first impression you leave? Do you know how to chose a dating partner? How do you behave on a date and so on?

Dating is both an art and a science. With right guidance, you may find answers to many questions. For that you have to read articles, speak to friends and think. What if we put thinking as the first priority? Think about everything yourself and try to get answers yourself. That will make you alert to many issues and equip you with quick intelligence to handle every situation. That will also raise questions in your mind such as- why do I want to date this particular person? What if he/she is not right for me? How do I find out that before asking for a date?

Quizzes that are devised around the subject of dating, love and personality do precisely that. Please believe me that no quiz will ever give you the correct answer. You are a very complex person and no questions can find out precisely about you. But they can serve a great purpose.
Here is a large resource of Fun Quizzes. Recommended - Love & Dating Quizzes, Personality Quizzes, and Relationships Quizzes.

The questions can give you ideas. The questions of a quiz will make you think. Remember unless a question is asked, you will not think of the answer. So try as many quizzes and tests as you can on dating, love and personality. Read the questions and think about them. Once your mind begins active thinking, you will get clues to many of your queries automatically.

Try These Quizzes Related To This Article -
1- How romantic can you be?.
2- Is he in love with you?.

CDMohatta writes inspirational content for ecard, screensaver and wallpaper sites. You can download some wallpapers at- Motivational wallpapers. To view the ecards browse Good day ecards and Love greetings.

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Surround Yourself with Confidence that Lets you Date Women by Ciaran7 Martin7

Dating advice and dating tips often come from people who went through the same experience and were able to conquer it. If you are among the men who cannot find their tongue in front of a beautiful woman, then seek help without delay. Get the Nervous Guy Program to prevent yourself wasting years and years of expecting a miracle that is not going to happen. Fate is said to be created by its owner, and with that, many have won in their quest for a lifetime of happiness. How can you become one of those overly confident individuals that succeed in grabbing their opportunity to date the girl of their dreams? If you want to live without regrets then make your move the soonest time possible.

Personal introduction is so hard to do when you lack the confidence as well as guts. As much as there are men who are oozing with self-confidence, numerous guys are also suffering from self-doubt. This feeling of distrust could come from personal experience or sometimes from the personal outlook. Now, how do you overcome such dilemma? Without sufficient help, you are less likely to develop the guts to date a girl. Dating advice may sound absurd to some but it is quite helpful to numerous nervous guys. In spite of the dating tips provided, it is best that you consult experts on the field. You will find that these advices have effectively solved the insecurities thereby allowing nervous men the chance to date.

Now, you can be one of those men who have started living an active social life. Having dates is very important not just to have a normal existence but as well as to live your life fully. With the dating advice, provide by Nervous Guy online, you can confidently approach any women you have your eyes on. Feel free and positive when you want to venture into the world and find your partner in life. Dating would become easier once you learn and apply the dating tips given to help slowly eliminate your nervousness. This achievement will cost you as little as $129. No need for expensive therapy because the entire healing course, will remove your anxiety and insecurities with strangers.

Start straightening your dating records by bringing out the poise you should have had in the first place. Take the step to crumple that wall which separates you from the rest of the dating crowd. Win the women your heart desires and stop waiting for fate to make the move because it will never happen. Remember that you make your fate. Whatever you do, it is up to you to make things happen your way. All possible dating advice and dating tips applicable, you can make it profitable for your own good. Let Nervous Guy Online help build your needed confidence to let you lose your fear and insecurities as you go along with the healing process.

Go online and visit Nervous Guy, know what and how you can get the most effective dating advice and dating tips to liven your once empty and boring life. Walk with confidence and you can approach any woman you like and introduce yourself without with needing to stammer.

Ciaran Martin is author of this article on Dating advice.
Find more information about Dating Tips here.

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Advice Breaking Up: Ending An Affair by Dee Power

Ending an affair is difficult. It’s an admission of guilt, sadness, and failure all rolled up into one package. Breaking up is hard to do. Ending an affair is never easy even if both partners realize it’s time. Unfortunately it’s not like in the movies with violins and teary, touching goodbyes. Is it any wonder that everyday people search for advice on ending an affair. Too bad there isn’t a listing in the phone book Advice Breaking Up, call now.

It would seem that if you’re reading this, most likely you’re one of those people who are looking for the right way to end an affair with the least heartbreak for both of you. Here are a few tips that hopefully will help.

1. Don’t delay. Once you’ve made up your mind to end the affair pick a date and stick with it. It’s too easy to come up with excuses why now isn’t a good time. Your significant other has just caught a cold, changed jobs, or is trying to quit smoking are all just excuses to delay. There will always be a reason why now isn’t the right time.

It’s even more of a challenge if one of the party realizes it has to end and the other doesn’t let on he or she has a clue there’s anything the matter. Let’s face it, it’s not easy having to let somebody go, for both parties. Endings, bad or good, are difficult.

Face the facts it’s not going to be any easier a week from now or a month from now. The longer you wait the more of a disservice you’re doing your partner.

2. Be direct. Don’t waffle around. A simple “we’re just not working out” is enough. You may decide to give the reasons behind your decision for ending an affair. If you do be firm and don’t give the impression that you can be talked out of it. The reasons should be objective and if at all possible non judgmental. Don’t blame. When you think about it there isn’t anyone really at fault when breaking up.

3. Be calm. This is probably the most difficult piece of breaking up advice. Even if both of you have reached the conclusion to end the affair it’s still emotional to admit it’s over. If the other person starts to get angry, it’s in your best interest to stay calm. Some people recommend that breaking up be done in a public place to prevent any hysteria. Personally a private place perhaps at a park would be better. Keep in mind that if the person driving is unaware that you’re breaking up you might have to find other transportation home.

More advice on Ending a relationship Dee Power is the author of several nonfiction books.

Article Source: Just Enjoy Life

Get Set For One Amazing Date! Smart Dating Advice For Men by Bernice Eker

Dates - you definitely seen them in movies, teased your best buddy as he finally got ready for his, or probably gone on imaginary infatuations with celebrities your age. So, you must be ready. But just in case, here’s a list of dating advice for men to keep in mind and take to heart before you come knock on your would-be dream date’s door.

How to make the first move?

Be confident - You always have to have confidence yet not overboard. It’s not that women don’t like you; they probably just don’t know if you’d like them. Just as guys are notoriously afraid of rejection, women are too! So, take the fear factor away and approach the girl of your dreams. Just hurry a little, for they may be other bees pursuing your pretty flower.

Be cool - If it’s terrifying to figure out why your pals suddenly started having their partners and you’re left with the same old you - no girlfriend, partner, no nothing, keep your cool! All you need is proper timing. Know the kind of girl you want and if you’ve spotted her and is finding a way to talk to her or introduce yourself, always remember to chill and don’t be too harsh on yourself. Take it easy and everything else will follow.

Be casual - Invite her to hang out after school or after office hours on neutral grounds such as the school’s cafeteria or the office’s pantry instead of asking her right away if she’d like to go out on a dinner or watch a movie with you. Allow some time to be comfortable with each other’s company. You’ll never know, she’ll be exclaiming these words in time, “Hey, I love your company, hanging out together frequently might be a good idea” while she really means, “Let’s go out on a date”!

How to have a good and lasting conversation

Be true to yourself - One dating advice for men are to bring up a topic that you think you and your date have in common. It can be a favorite movie you’ve seen, a good book you’ve read, the kind of sports you play or a popular band maybe. Good conversation topics are endless. You just have to know what clicks. Keep in mind, on dates, there’s nothing more awkward than coming up with a great topic just to sound intelligent and all-knowing, yet unable to follow up some more because it’s not something that interests you.

Pay attention - Focus man! This is the time to give your full attention on her. When she speaks, assure her that you’re listening. When she focus her eyes on you, make certain that you do too. To keep a conversation going, listening is the key. Listen so you can respond and listen so you can throw in some lines to keep the conversation up and going. Don’t bombard your date with too many questions either. Remember, it’s a date conversation, not an interview.

Just enjoy yourself - And, make certain that she’s having a grand time and that the feeling is mutual. This kind of dating advice for men will let you know instantly if she’s into you as well.

Find out more at dating tips for men

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Romances That Set Teenagers On Fire With Love by Aydan Corkern

In some states in this country, you might see more break ups with teenagers than in others. It seems to me that in these states that have this happening, the young teens are on fire in so many ways. This problem has gotten worse over the years, the last decade being the worst, because not only has there been a rise in break ups but also suicide. This shows a sense of hopelessness for young teens and middle-aged adults that might be looking for Mister or Miss Right.

The pressures on our young people are so bad now that most of the time they will do something to just make this pressure go away. Some of these pressures might be so bad that if a person feels like they are being teased about their bad relationship with another person, feel insecure about themselves in regards to relationships, or think they will be alone, they will try to commit suicide and some will succeed.

If you have a teen or young adult that has been hit by this situation, you should try to get them to talk to you about it and really try to listen as you might keep them from doing this. Tell them that you have been through what they are going through, and tell them that it’s hard but that you love them and that it will get better. Try to make them understand that they really need to slow down to find the right one and that they will eventually. If they don’t find the right one now, they will later, and they should not rush into anything just because it’s there.

Tell them that it is better to wait and look around because if they get married too soon, they might have more problems than they want. It is better to ask yourself questions about your relationships before it gets too far out of hand, and then it will be too late to back out. If we, as parents, just watch for the warning signs, we can help by showing them our support and love that might help them through their rough times.

As parents, we don’t really know the problems that our young have to deal with because in our time, we usually married for social and practical reasons like a husband needing someone to help on his farm or to help him by giving him children to carry on his family name. Most of these marriages lasted because if these people could not separate because it was not allowed in most circles of life.

Aydan Corkern is a writer of many topics, visit some of her sites, like
water damage restoration belleview and the restoration express.

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The Metaphysics of Romance by jgraf

To explore relationship models that are counter-productive, one need go no further than what is presented by the media, film, and literature of modern society, as it descends now through the last phase of its materialist mode.
In answer to this dysfunctional arena, and to feed into an alternative stream, this article delves into some of the more whole-some relational and metaphysical dynamics of partnering, by apprehending what takes place beneath appearances.

Entering into relationship

A karmic bond is often the initial drawing force between partners. In a karmic relationship the underlying magnetism can be powerful, as a deeper wisdom works with the alchemic process of karmic balance. Despite suffering entailed (often a semi-sweet tableau), a rich harvest awaits.
Once the mainstay of learning has been processed, by one, or both, of the partners, the drawing force can abate.
Many long to transcend the karmic level, and move into the grace of a “soul-mate” communion. Either way, karma or grace - the shadow, or “pain body,” is activated to ensure spiritual growth.
Bringing consciousness into the arena of shadow is a central raison d’etre for relationship. No matter who you hook up with, whether the relationship is about karma, grace, destiny, or one’s soul-mate - call it just plain lucking out - shadow will be along for the dance.

Especially for pre-midlife adults, unborn children also create a powerful attracting force between partners. These souls striving to be born select their would-be parents and influence them to get together. The force these “spiritual babies” exert accounts for much of the principle energy moving within a couple’s attraction and sexual intensity. The force of attraction can decrease to the extent the spiritual-plane activity of the children abates. For example, by age 7, children have incarnated their own etheric body, by 14, their own astral body. Each phase reduces parental cohesion orchestrated on the spiritual plane, as the child moves deeper into incarnation.

By midlife, a more soulful aspect of a (functional) individual’s biography often plays a bigger part in the bonding force.

A key aspect for transcending the “child factor,” as well as enhancing the union in general, entails co-forming a foundation before engaging on a sexual level. The typical model of relationship that Hollywood has been serving up to ticket-paying masses tends to deliver lovers to the same unviable arena of relating that its own celebrities find themselves so often engaged in.
About 95% of love stories that modern film portray entail new partners advancing to sexuality at lightning speed - if not on the first day, then at least in the first week. On film you can do anything. In reality, this factor invites an early dissolution - or, at very least makes for a precarious basis for unity and rapport.
Imagine re-writing these barren scripts, so that a couple spends considerable time in the initial courtship phase, exploring all manner of experience - sharing interests, getting to know each other’s diverse facets, cultivating a soul-deep affinity. In effect, developing a solid foundation upon which to sustain the relationship.
Imagine, also, the dimension nurtured in a prolonged courtship, and the compelling body of experience that gets passed by when a couple depreciates their relationship. Driven by whims of unconscious craving, the intense fire of sexuality takes on a force of its own, so that these potential aspects of intimacy get short-circuited.
A foundational phase also lends room for resolving obstacles, including left over issues from past relationships, in preparation for the new communion. Partners can become active during the courtship phase at clearing themselves, as well as helping each other’s process (most of which is about being supportive, since every individual ultimately has to accomplish such clearing by virtue of their own intention - it can’t be done for someone).

“Love at first sight” can be a very real phenomena - but, then, it is only first sight this life. . . which brings to mind that statement people so often throw around carelessly, “You only live once.” I always add on - “. . .yes, but it’s forever. . . .”

Engaging, once in relationship

As a noted spiritual counselor has stated, “The purpose of relationship is not to make one happy, but more conscious.”
Relationship in action tends to address the existential question, where am I? Finding orientation within the soul’s terrain is a natural by-product of relating.
We know it’s working when a relationship induces the partners to fulfill their destinies, to optimize their potential.

Forgiveness at every turn opens doors of deeper awareness. The word itself, for-give - suggests that one give before having full comprehension of a situation, an act that serves as a catalyst to remove barriers to understanding.
At the same time, a true act of forgiveness does not entail condoning a dysfunction.

When I consider what a relationship would look like when it has evolved beyond the karmic level to a level of grace, I come to a perspective that views partners as revolving spheres that interact - an image that honors the multi-facetted nature of a human being, in which dynamics that might otherwise be shunned can find a place at the banquet of relation, and so come to wholeness.
On the face of the sphere are arrayed all possible conceptions and roles of an individual. As the sphere turns, the individual moves from vulnerable, to invulnerable, parental, to child-like. Aspect by aspect, moving through feminine, masculine, or “balanced” states. One phase as a lover, the next as a poet, servant, guru, healer, patient, humorist, teacher, student, visionary, seeker. . . an endless cast of roles. Meanwhile, the partner’s sphere is also revolving, engaging an equally limitless array of inter-weavings.
In a whole-seeking relationship this modality can work, as long as the partners are cognizant of the ever-revolving sphere. Problems can arise, if a partner gets “stuck” in one dynamic for a lengthy duration. But with a reasonable degree of functionality, the dance of partnering can assume all manner of dimension and proportion.
This becomes love acting in freedom. Practicing the engagement of one’s Being, and facilitating the same in one’s partner.

For the full version of this article visit Insight21.

J Graf is the coordinator of Insight21 and Earth Vision - doorways for the 21st Century.

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